A 35-year-old tech professional’s emotional post about being torn between a dream job offer in the US and her family life in India has sparked an intense online debate on Reddit, exposing societal pressures and gendered expectations in modern marriages.
Posting anonymously on Reddit, the woman — married for six years to an ISRO scientist and mother to a 3-year-old — opened up about how she’s long supported her family while compromising on her own career goals. “I’ve started to feel increasingly unhappy about working in India and living here overall,” she wrote, adding that a lucrative job offer in the US now feels like a much-needed escape and a better option for her child’s future.
She clarified that she has no intention of abandoning her family. “My plan is that if my husband agrees, I will go for a long-distance marriage and once I get settled there, he can leave his job and move with me. NOWHERE I said that I will leave my husband and kid lmao,” she wrote in a follow-up edit after receiving personal attacks and misogynistic abuse.
Despite her clear intent to keep her family intact, her post was flooded with criticism — and also support — from across the internet. Some users accused her of being selfish, while others empathised with her conflict.
“In this political climate, do you think your US opportunity will be permanent?” one netizen asked, warning of visa issues and job insecurity in the US. Another user, already living abroad with a toddler, wrote, “Life is equally difficult in the US… If you’re planning to do it as a single parent, think twice.”
Others were more philosophical. “Comparison is the thief of joy,” one comment read. “Most people are unhappy not because they are living a bad life but because they think others are living a better one.”
The post touched a nerve with many Indians navigating dual-career marriages, migration dilemmas, and the pressures of societal judgment. One commenter summed up the sentiment: “If your partner is a good person and takes care of you and your kid, both should compromise. Happiness comes from people, not just place or pay.”
